...and I am not bold enough! But, I made an album that I just adore!
I did this in a weekend! I started late Friday night, and finished on Monday morning, and had it photographed, edited and e-mailed by 2:30 p.m. Yeah, I got about 6 hours sleep over a three day time period, and I challenged and pushed myself in new ways! And do I mind being passed over? No.
I have to imagine that the artists who bettered me in this have to be amazing! I look forward to learning from them and again being challenged and pushed even further!The journaling just poured out of me, it was so honest and fulfilling to write like that. I was able to empty so much of my thoughts worries and challenges onto these pages, and it was such a tremendous growing experience!
The journaling: Believe in Yourself
The seeds of doubt are sprinkled in my life. I find -myself wondering if I am too hard on my kids, or not hard enough. Should I make them do more chores or get on them about their homework? Can I finish my education, become a ski instructor, have healthy relationships with my friends and family or run a marathon? Can I move up a level in my tennis game, lose fifteen pounds and find time to work on my marriage of 18 years? Can I be an exceptional employee, serve others through church and maintain a balance at home with my children? Will I be able to enjoy my sense of humor and maintain an appearance of dignity at the same time? Questions like these have run through my head as long as I can remember! When these moments come I have to step back and consider if I am being negative because I am afraid to try and fail, or if there is really a good reason to not do what it is I am considering. Being driven has moments of deep despair because I have to gamble so much confidence to get to the goals I have set for myself. If the gamble is successful, there are the sweet rewards and pleasures that come. If the gamble fails, the accompanying low is so deep that I begin to wonder if I will ever succeed again.
It is this constant battle that keeps me honest. I am able to revisit humility and understanding. Be more compassionate and patient. Resolve to believe that I am a success as a person. Appreciate my accomplishments and review my failings. This battle is where my belief in myself becomes stronger and receives a clarity of purpose. This is where I can go back and recall the strength that I felt when something that myself and others had told me I would likely not accomplish had been done. I know I often bite off way more than I can chew. When someone tells me “you can’t do that” it is a green light for me to say “oh really, well just you wait, I’ll show you”. This does end up being a problem at times, and without my belief in myself, I would not have enough strength and perseverance to pursue my dreams and contend with my realities.
B become more today than you were yesterday. I believe that I should be able to learn something new everyday. I should find a way to grow and stretch and challenge myself and help the others around me do the same. Self-improvement is the key to believing in yourself, if you can recall being able to do something hard, it will give the belief that what you are up against can be conquered as well.
E enjoy your accomplishments whether they are great or small. In the hectic pace I live in, small things that are done tend to go unnoticed. I am looking for the big moment, but the little ones are likely to matter most in the long run. The time spent with the kids in the car as they are being taken to school or piano or being picked up from tennis is one of the times when I feel like my time could be better spent. But it is these moments when I get the scoop on the day or share a joke with them that will prove to be the best part of my day. I may not get to hike to the top of the mountain everyday, but I might get to make a meal that everyone will love.
L live, learn, laugh, love. This seems so simple, but for me it can be hard. I can be very judgmental. I am working very hard to deal with disappoints using the knowledge that I will live through it, I need to learn from it, then laugh and remember to love the person who the disappointment came from. It is a difficult process for me, and one that I hope others will use when dealing with me!
I I can therefore I will. As I previously mentioned, if someone tells me that I shouldn’t or can’t do something, I get a little stupid sometimes. A friend was preparing for a marathon, I teased him a little about his diet changes and his early morning runs. This led to him teasing me about not even being able to do a marathon. Well, that was it. I trained for 7 months and got into the St. George marathon. I set my goals made a plan, followed the advice of those with experience and ran a four and a half hour marathon. I didn’t finish with a great time, but I had done it! And just to prove that it wasn’t a fluke, I did it again the following year.
E enthusiasm is the antidote for the mundane. When any job or task is approached with enthusiasm and energy, the time spent will fly by and the end result will be success. Bringing a smile and a positive attitude will turn the most trying of circumstances into a very exciting and worthwhile adventure! When life becomes mundane for me, I am notorious for doing something very silly to break it up. This is contagious, and others soon take up the cause to help provide a way to make the job at hand enjoyable and productive.
V value what you have, it is priceless. So many things that I place a high priority on in my life are fleeting. Are my shoes fabulous or is my sweater in fashion? Why would I place so much value on “things”? This is one of the things about me that I place so much doubt in. Why do I treasure such momentary things, when what I really should be focusing on is the beauty and precious nature of my growing family? The time as an integral piece of their lives is so short. Placing them as my highest of priorities and investing my all into their growth process is far more important than which handbag I carry. Our wonderful dog is terminally ill. He will only be with us for a short time, and this serves as a daily reminder that we do not know how much time we have or the others around us might have. I remind myself of this constantly and try to live in the moment while I prepare for our future. The forever nature of my family is priceless and what I hold to be of the highest value.
E embrace who you are, no one will ever be able to do it as well as you do! This seems so obvious. But so many of my seeds of doubt come from if only I could do this the way she does, or if we had something like so and so then life would be much easier. God made us to be unique. There truly will never be another duplicate of me, my life experiences, decisions and the results, ever. With that in mind, I really believe that if I am doing the best that I absolutely can every day, then I am fulfilling my responsibility to be the best me that I can.
This was a huge "dump"!
This project is so much better to open, see the colors, feel the textures experience the belief. I have loved this experience, and look forward to another opportunity to do something like this again!
So now I am off to go make six new stockings! Found some great inspiration in the Neiman -Marcus catalog and some great deals on fabrics and notions at Jo-Ann's. Work on making some advent calenders for gifts and finish Chloe's birthday baggie book! Yup, it is a lot to take on, but I believe in myself!