Monday, February 20, 2006

Have to start saying good-bye

We have come to a point of realization in the last week that there is no longer anything that we can do to help or prolong the life of our beloved family member Avalanche. It was a hard thing to take his limb and give us more time with him, and it has been wonderful in so many ways. We need him and love him and he does so much for all of us. It has given us time to really enjoy what and who he is and to make the most of his time here. But that doesn't really make this place easier. It is a very hard lesson in mortality for the kids, and Dave and I just are sick about it.
He is so beautiful even in his most trying of circumstances, and even though he needs the comforting from his pain, he absorbs our tears in his sweet fur. The lessons of appreciating what you have while you have it, are ones I hope we never forget.

It was a rough day at our house. The baby is getting worse with each day, and it looks like from the swelling in his legs that his kidneys are failing. We don't want him to be in any more pain, but it is just to hard to say good-bye. We are all really struggling with talking about it and trying to be realistic, but it hurts each of us so much.
We have been letting him out onto the deck a couple of times a day, he enjoys it so much. It is so hard to watch him try to get up to get out though and then watching him shiver after only 20 minutes out there. He used to be able to sit out on a cold day for hours when we would let him, so for him to shiver, he just isn't right.
Chloe took these pictures so she could do a drawing of him for her art class. Her drawing turned out beautifully, and I am sure that it will be a treasure for her when he is gone. It was very wise for her to use him as a study right now, I think it was a very therapeutic thing for her to do.

We took the kids to see a movie hoping that it would be a good distraction for all of us, but we saw "Eight Below" the dog sled movie that Disney put out. It was cute and had a nice story, and on any other day it would have been fine. It just made me that much more depressed. I came home and slept for 3 hours after crying. I just can't look at a big dogs liquid brown eyes and see the majesty of what Avalanche was, and that he isn't at that place any more, it is just heartbreaking.
I have been a huge 24 fan from the begining, and I am trying to watch it to get distracted, but nothing is working right now. I can't pay attention and it is just moving to fast for my brain right now. I won't be able to catchup and know what is going on in the next episode, and it is just making me grumpier.
We have the tivo going on the olympics so we can watch the mens GS and hopefully the womens super-G. The freestyle ariels are also going, and we really enjoy those, so that will be interesting.
It was a long weekend with the kids home for 4 days, but i am really glad they had that extra time with Avalanche, I hope that it was enough for them to be able to day good-bye with.

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